Looking for some rejection letters

Slightly over two years ago I finished my first creative writing class.  I really wanted to take it earlier than that -- like in my first or second year of university, but the prospect of submitting work to try to get into the class intimidated me.  Also, the idea of workshopping my own stories if I got into the class scared me.  Anyway, I have loved every creative writing class, and at the end I have always wanted to submit some of my work to literary magazines or something.  In the first and second classes I took we never focused on publishing, but last semester in 485 poetry (or whatever the title was) we did.  We actually had an assignment to study some literary magazines and choose one that we would send our work to.  I did the assignment, and I really wanted to send my work off.  By the end of the semester I even felt like I might be able to get some of my poems published.  Sometime in the summer I even emailed Medrie and asked her about what to put in a cover letter, and she graciously sent me an old one of hers to help me out.  Then all summer I got busy with social events, and new writing, and family obligations.  When I was alone at my cabin I would think I really need to get my own cover letter done.  They're not long at all and I imagine take only like ten minutes.  Still, now its December and I haven't finished, or started it.  I am not even worried that my work would be rejected.  That would be fine.  At this point it would feel good just to know that someone in charge of reading poetry or short stories for a literary magazine read my work.  Anyway, I feel like I am letting myself down (and my creative writing professors) by not even trying to get any of this work published.  So, I am promising myself (and the versions of them that are in my head) that this Christmas break I will finish cover letters for my poetry and one or two short stories, and I will send them out.  Any advice from anyone on good ways to do this, or good places to send work would be awesome.

David Sedaris: How Do You Get Away With It?

I was recently looking at David Sedaris' website, trying to find something to blog about.  In all honesty, the website is not great.  It is maintained by his agency and the only interesting things on it are the links to other websites that have interviews with him or reviews of his work.  Most of these interviews are a little old, but he is hilarious and refreshingly honest about himself -- although I guess considering he writes creative nonfiction he has to be comfortable having people know a lot about him.  Anyway, here is one of the quotes from an interview where he discusses his book Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk.  He says, "I wanted to write about aspects of human behavior that sicken me, but I never had to look further than myself. I just thought, 'What do I hate about myself today?' I'm constantly selling out my friends in order to get somebody's approval, or I'm blaming sick people for being sick, or I'm stabbing somebody in the back, or I'm lying… I'm a horrible person."  Although I can't be sure what he means by selling out friends, I feel like he might be talking about his use of friends and family in his stories (which although he admits are not always 100% true, are marketed as creative nonfiction and do use his siblings and parents as main characters sometimes).  

I know even when I write fiction, if I base a character on someone I actually know, I am a little nervous about it.  I question whether my portrayal is accurate enough, or whether that matters (because in most cases these people won't know it is them and probably no one who reads it will).  My final project this semester (wait for it, because this will be a shocker for everyone in my fiction class -- not) is closer to creative nonfiction than most of the work that I usually write.  And although I am fine with this, I blame the poetry class from last semester because that is the first time in years that I wrote from a more personal, less fictional place.  Because of this I am a little worried about letting certain people read it.  Some of the characters are pretty much just the people I know, but thats mostly because they are very minor characters.  Others, are more fictional, but still based on some elements of reality.  I think it would be hard for my mother to read and not think of herself as the mother.  I don't think she would be flattered by the comparison and would probably be angry that people in my class read this story, even though she doesn't know any of them and they don't know her.  Is it necessary to paint these people in the most positive light as character?  I don't think it is possible.  It would be too fake.  Obviously, the main character, while not entirely me, is largely me -- and I don't think that I've painted him in the most flattering light.  But I am fine with that.  I am fine with finding my inner David Sedaris at times and straight up saying, "I am a horrible person." and I would stand by my story, but I don't know if I can show it to my parents.  If I were to have it published, they obviously could read it (much like David Sedaris' family probably reads his stories about them) but I don't really want them to.  I am trying to put myself on the other side, as the person who someone else based a character on, and I am starting to think that I owe it to them to allow them to read it.  But is that all I owe them? If any of these people said "that didn't happen" or "I didn't say that" or "I want you to change this" would I owe it to them to? cause I really wouldn't want to.

Time To Pretend: Writing as a Writer

I was recently on Margaret Atwood's website (see link under websites I like) and read some advice she has for writers.  One thing that stuck with me is when she talks about what makes a writer, not necessarily ever coming to a conclusion, but anyway, she first talks of others suggesting that all you have to do is write something down and you are a writer, but she uses the analogy, "everyone can dig a hole in a cemetery, but not everyone is a grave-digger."  I had already been thinking about this, again, after all the writer/author talk from before.  This time I'm not really thinking about what makes a writer, but what makes me a writer? (or what doesn't)  Sometimes I don't feel like a writer, or even someone who practices the art of writing, but more like someone who pretends the art of writing.  I feel like a fraud who is just pretending to have something to say, so that I don't have to study engineering or something.  Quite awhile ago now one of my friends told me that I was her favourite writer.  I take this as a great compliment (even though I know it is 100% biased, in part because we are friends, and in part because she has never read anything that I have written) but at the same time it makes me feel like more of a fraud, like I can create this persona of being a writer.  I can con people into believing that, but there's really no substance behind this writer mask.  


I love writing, but I rarely write for anything other than assignments.  Sure, I start stories.  I write down ideas for stories, but I don't finish them.  Some of my friends (who are involved in film and theatre) and I sometimes talk about our desire to create, usually when we are drinking.  We talk about how this desire is a part of us, that even if we can't make any money at our individual crafts.  If we are forced into some sort of office jobs, or choose other career paths that we will still create.  I'm not always so sure I would.  I want to be a person that would, but the last couple summers I have taken off, in part because I just didn't want to get a boring job or wake up at 7 or 8 in the morning, but also to work on my writing.  And I did some of that, but I also got caught up in summer projects, in summer parties, and in general socializing.  Sometimes I think I would be better off if I didn't like people so much.  True, there are probably a lot of people that I don't like at all, but when I find people I like, all I want to do is hang out with them.  And over the years I have accumulated quite a good group of people that I would gladly waste my life away, just hanging out for eternity with.  The summer that MGMT's 'Time to Pretend' came out my Dad said, "listen to this song.  It reminds me of you and your friends."  Now first of all, although yes my Dad is often the embarrassing, annoying father (just like everyone else's?) he does often have good taste in music and movies (a bit of a hint that he was once, probably, a cool person).  Second of all, I hope that he never meant all of the heroine and cocaine and choking on vomit and dying parts were what he sees happening for me, or my friends.  But, I don't want to get a job in an office, and I think I might be fated to pretend, but at the same time, I don't know if that can continue.  How much pretending do I have to do before it counts for something?  Cause I don't plan on stopping.

Here's the song in case anyone wants to listen to it.

This Guy Blows My Mind

David Lynch, at age 65, recently released his debut album,Crazy Clown Time, (which he wrote and sings!?).  I have been a big fan of his for almost as long as I have had the ability to appreciate any form of art (mostly meaning films that are not completely generic and 'hollywood').  Even though I know what is going to happen in Lost Highway, it never loses its ability to scare me completely.  I have appreciated him as a director and a writer for years, but I never knew about all the other work he does (other than selling coffee and giving weather forecasts for LA, which I did hear about).  But in a recent article in the Guardian, David Lynch and Xan Brooks discuss his work.  They mention that "he's been working on his lithos, on his painting, and on his music, too. He's been designing a nightclub (Silencio), across the river, and he has been waiting to catch the idea for his next feature film."  The whole interview is really interesting, but more than anything I just took away that I should try to do more in different artistic mediums.  I will never be a singer (the most I ever sing is in a group at Karaoke after a few drinks, or alone in my car so as not to damage anyone's ears) but I have dabbled in painting, and I should try more.  Also, some time in the summer a couple of friends asked me about trying to write them some song lyrics, and I immediately thought 'no way at all.  I can't'.  But after reading Lynch's opinion about it, I think I should try.

"Writing a song is much the same as writing a film, he explains. It's all about chasing ideas; about telling a story or letting the story tell you. And this, it turns out, is about as far as he is prepared to go in discussing his working method. "Because none of the things are yourself, not really. The ideas come from someplace else. It's like fish," he says.

What's like fish? "The ideas," says Lynch. "You didn't make the fish. You caught the fish. Now you can cook it in a good way or a bad way, but that's as far as it goes. The fish came from someplace else. And sometimes …" His eyes take on a faraway look. "Sometimes it talks back to you. Tells you how it wants to be cooked.""

So, probably not til this semester is over, and even then maybe not right away, but sometime I will try to catch a fish and try to cook it with paint, lyrics, or some other form of writing.

Musical Inspiration

I've been listening to Christmas music all day -- which I usually start listening to at the beginning of November -- classics like Otis Redding, Burl Ives, Brenda Lee, Nat King Cole and Dinah Washington, mixed with newer versions by the likes of Kristin Chenoweth, and the one that I have been waiting for this year, the one that inspired this post, and no it's not whatever annoying album Justin Beiber put out, its A Very She & Him Christmas, by the band She & Him (Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward).  This album had me repeating it day after day since its release before Halloween, so, here's a little clip.  Also, let me know what your favourite Christmas album or song is if you feel like it.  I am always happy to add to my annual list.  This one is probably not my favourite from the album, but I do love how they have reversed the roles in it.

Christmas Inspiration

I love Christmas time.  When I was a kid a lot of it might have been about the presents (or at the time I thought it was) but as I grew up I realized I didn't remember the presents; I have memories of the people 

and events.  I will always remember Christmases at my Grandma's house in North Battleford with almost all my aunts and uncles and cousins.  My brother, sister and I would sleep in a room in the attic right next to the chimney and my sister would convince my brother and I that we could hear Santa sliding down the chimney (I'm still not sure if she actually thought she did too or if she was messing with us).  Once she even said that after we went to sleep she snuck downstairs and saw him.  We usually didn't fall asleep til quite late.  We would go to bed and spend hours talking about how excited we were and wishing we could just fall asleep so that morning would come faster.  Usually I would end up talking and asking a question, only to realize that I was the only one still awake.  Then time moved even slower.  Our stockings were always laid out by our feet in the morning (the one present we were allowed to open before everyone else woke up).  

The only present I remember from anytime in elementary school or before was a stuffed rudolph the red-nosed reindeer whose nose lights up.  I remember him especially because I got him on Boxing Day and not Christmas.  I loved Rudolph and really wanted him for Christmas, but I was too excited to even realize I didn't get him and then on Boxing Day my parents said that they thought I had missed a present from Santa and that I should look around the front room for it.  Behind a large armchair by the fireplace I found Rudolph and I don't think I could have been more excited.  I still have him.  Much later I learned that there was a lot of panic and anger on my parents part when on Christmas they realized they somehow forgot to wrap Rudolph(after almost failing to get him when he was apparently sold out) and thought that they may have forgotten him in Regina only to find him later in a suitcase or under a seat in the car or something.  The last few Christmases I have gotten other Rudolph stuffed animals as well.  One of them is just a stuffy whose nose lights up and can sing, but when you cover his nose he says "I don't wanna cover my nose" The other is a stuffed toy and a game of hot potato.  Music plays and when you are holding him and the music stops and his nose goes off , you lose.  I have had a lot of fun with this game but I love it and hate it at the same time because the entire message behind the show is that you should accept people for who they are and that Rudolph's nose should be celebrated instead of ridiculed or hidden, and in this game it is once again a negative symbol. (I know taking Rudolph too seriously is kind of ridiculous, if not totally, but I have watched rudolph at least twice a year for as long as I can remember).  But I guess it is kind of like Santa in this whole movie. Why is Santa such a dick in this movie?  He honestly tells Rudolph's parents that they need to hide his nose from everyone, and only accepts him when he can use his nose to guide his sleigh.  Still though, I love the 'Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer' stop-motion animated special from 1964, more than any other Christmas movie.  Even more than 'Santa Claus is Coming to Town', where Mrs. Claus goes on some sort of acid trip and climbs into the town square fountain despite the fact that it's winter -- crazy, and awesome.  

I have great memories of Christmas, and I probably start writing more stories about Christmas, or set around Christmas than any other time.  Some of them are more creative non-fiction than stories, and I think that I have only ever finished one of these stories (and in that one I killed Santa Claus, or a mall Santa -- in front of a little kid).  I was proud of that story, but I did worry that people would take it as a commentary on Christmas or Santa.  I guess maybe he deserves it for being such a dick to Rudolph, but I can't stay mad at him.  Usually he is nice.  Anyway, it is getting to be wintery and close to Christmas and the only way that I know how to accept the cold and snow is to get into the Christmas spirit.  This year I am going to try to finish some of my Christmas stories because I don't want to just be the dick that killed Santa.  So, in the spirit of Christmas I want to know what Christmas stories, movies, or traditions inspire everyone.  I already watch a lot of movies, make Christmas muffins, and literally just spend hours daydreaming about Christmases to come, and ones past -- I can never sleep when Christmas is near (I guess maybe it's not daydreaming if its at night, but I am not actually sleeping so, I don't think I can just call it dreaming).  Anyway (for the second time) I would like to add some new movies, stories, and traditions in the hope that these might help me actually finish a story, rather than ignore them all when I get my Christmas adrenaline rush, which will be any day now.  Any suggestions?

This Post is for Medrie: regarding Assignments #1 and #2

I meant to address this earlier, but anyway.  You asked whether my character of Dave was the same character in Assignment #1 and #2 (which is a very valid question considering they have the same name).  The answer is not at all.  Apparently I isolate each story to such an extent that I did not even realize they had the same name until I saw that question on the page.  Even then, I at first thought 'why would the character be the same in these stories?', then turning through them I realized I used the same name.  I then mentally went through my catalogue of stories and apparently I use the name Dave or David in like 50% or more of my stories.  Why? No idea.